A song of love

"You don't love someone for their looks or their clothes, or their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear. "               

         - Oscar Wilde

As I came across these lines it sounded so beautiful. When we rewind our memories few years back to our favourite movies or our romance novel we find the process of love blooming. A hero sees a heroine and he falls in love ; love at first sight.

A description of a male character starts with his physique then moves to other factors and when its a women her feminity is found attractive. When I was thinking an old movie suddenly rushed in my mind. The heroine and hero have been best friends since childhood, as she grew she did not carry a feminine quality so the hero overlooks her as a woman. The man falls in love with another woman who is "Beautiful". Later when the man meets his friend years later he starts to fall in love with her because she transforms into feminine beauty. 

If a justification is needed to say he saw her as a friend so he did not develop any feelings, this reasoning should continue even after years of meeting again and he should not fall in love with her.

We also find beautiful love stories like "Me Before You" and "Five Feet Apart". We can claim that these novels are just fiction but if we search we can find so many stories that are full of life.Some move us to tears, some bring smile in our eyes as if its a personal experiance.

Music touches our soul and each of us have our own personal taste. Its not impossible to share a taste but same music might not give a similar emotion as the other person.

Even though the song is same but what the music does to us depends on our current emotions. Even when not in love a romantic song makes us feel loved, the same song to the person in love is a journey of memories.

Walks and mall

 

Today as it was drizzling slowly drop by drop giving a soft scent of wet soil the smell reached my nose, and I stepped out to see the glimpse of rain that was expected to cool the place but the feeling didn't last long as just a few minutes and the rain was gone.

Even though the rain was gone the chillness prevailed, so we decided to go to D-mart for shopping. While walking on the road there was no sign of rain as the roads were completely dry.
It was quite a walk by crossing the busy road and escaping the auto drivers who almost made us their passengers. After reaching the store it was so chill but there were lots of people standing on different isles.

We decided to start from one end to the other but as we reached half way it felt like " I think I forgot something so we again  go back to the same place we already crossed. As the shopping came to the end the realisation hit that it's been two hours, the reason behind my number legs.

Even though it was an eventful evening the tiredness hits as soon as the stairs to home are seen. The day is still not over as there is few more hours of activities still pending...

Dust and horn

Today my dad took me out as we had some work to do. First we took metro and on the way many people were wearing mask, a product that was meant for prevention of corona virus but now it's to prevent pollution. Hmm, what a change...

Later we took two wheeler in the evening the road was crowded at 6pm. People were busy moving from place to place. There was traffic jam stopping the vehicles to move forward. 

People were playing with horn, as if it was a competition among each other. At the end my ear ached. The noise was too much that it started to give a headache.

The other skilled people were bikers who found space in between two conjoined vehicles. They do not know what fear is as the stunts that we see on the road is the proof. As I sat and observed all these my heart missed a beat worried about them.

The road was full of dust where the vehicles seemed invisible. No wonder pollution is increasing. As I reached home I was done with my wish to travel. The most positive thing I saw today was the electric bus which is light blue in colour and was beautiful. It's tagline read "100% electric 0% smoke" and I would definitely want to travel at least once in that bus.

Please stand clear of the doors

Today let's explore the travel in a hot summer midday. It's been a long time since I left my room due to the extreme heat but today it was an unavoidable invite because it has already been postponed. 

We all left in the afternoon as we had to reach around 3:30pm. It was a very hot summer day and sun was on full energy. Me and my brother hid under an umbrella and tried to adjust the height which was uneven due to his tall frame. 

After crossing the road and reaching the metro station we went forward to board the metro. As the train moved forward we got seats to sit and had a fun time watching a small child playing around and interacting with us. The the automatic announcement "Please stand clear of the doors" and other repetition was also a reminder that no one listens.

The outside view was very dry with buildings all over. It was a rare sight to see trees which was almost not there. It was very cool inside complete contrast to the atmosphere outside. The wish to continue to travel prolonged due to cold air but unwillingly we dragged ourselves out.

The wind that hit our face was like fire waiting to burn out. The night air was also the same as the day time. The relief I felt after reaching home was so great and I feel so tired after few hours outside.

Work to cool

As the heat of the summer increases day by day it is too hot even indoors. The heat of the scorching sun penetrates the walls increasing the temperature of the room. It is more unbearable as our home is on the second floor which means no more houses above us. The roof absorbs the heat during the day and at night it becomes very humid. The night air is also feels like standing near a fireplace.

So to cool the house down, as soon as sun sets we pour water on the terrace at least twice with one hour break in between. The water is poured twice because the first time it's poured the water evaporates quickly even without the sunlight. Then it's all humid with the heat rising above. After an hour of break when water is poured again it cools the terrace, slowly leaving the room much cooler than before.

To survive this heat people usually have air conditioners but we use cooler which usually cools the entire house. But for the past few days it's not cooling the room as usual so we decided to clean it while changing the hay that is attached on three sides. We bought new hays and all of us equally divided the work from changing the water, removing the dust, cleaning the sides, changing the hay and then finally fixing it. 

After the cleaning is done we switched on the cooler and after around ten minutes the room started to cool down and all of us sat together relishing the hardwork while talking for the rest of the time.

We don't need Heros

Today as I was watching a movie, one dialogue captivated me. The dialogue is, " We don't need heroes but we need those who do not wait for one".

We all have an idealized hero who we look to when trouble arises. That may be the one reason we always have a hero and a villain in a movie where the villain is defeated by a hero as a symbol of good wins over evil. These idealized heroes are 'backups' to solve the problems. 

Growing up we always found faults in others to justify our wrongdoings. When siblings fight and mom suddenly arrives we are quick to blame the other to escape punishment. In schools, if the results during examination are not satisfiable the blame is put on the teacher. 

After reaching adulthood we wait for someone to start rather than to begin. As soon as we detect something wrong we wait for someone like Messiah to point it out first.

When problems arise we look for an invisible entity for solution rather than identifying the problems and fixing the problem. There is a phrase in Malayalam that goes " than padi deivam padi" which means half of the efforts are to be done by man and leave the rest to God.

Illusion

Idealized Someone,

Never knew before,

Seemed familiar,

Yet very distinct.

Befriended me,

Guided me,

Corrected me,

And held me tight.

Failed to recognise,

Always running from truth,

Pushing to work hard,

Taught self confidence.

Alas stood far away,

Watching me succeed,

Once satisfied,

Disappeared from light,

But promised to return.

Finally the day came,

When we met again,

Walking along with me,

As it lived within me.

Joy of life

Sunday being a day of rest me and my brother were invited to a home. We first decided to go by 3pm but it was too sunny outside and the heat was too much to bear. 

We decided to go around 5:30pm almost the time when the sun would not be very bright. I thought everyone would be sleeping but it wasn't like that so it was a relief. 

I remember the days when me and my brother were staying alone the aunty will invite us to her place and make delicious dishes everytime. It was a relief to known that there is a place to go if there is an emergency. 

As soon as we reached we had a long conversation as it's been months since I saw them. During our talk I realised aunty ordered some raw materials for cooking. She later entered the kitchen to make burger and within the snack was ready. As the four of us had she was preparing juice which was a unexpected surprise. It was a fruit mix with mange, watermelon, ice cream of three flavours and chia seeds. It was a tasty treat.

After snack and drink the kids decided to play Ludo and other games. It was fun to be around younger generation full of energy and excitement.

Adventure ride

 

As I was having a conversation with my brother he started telling his experience when he was going to the park.

The park was known as Turf and it had grills on four sides and the park was half the size of the football field with artificial grass attached with lights at night. He started at 5pm from home and reached back home by 9pm.

He and his friends, a whole group of nine members decided to meet at Tuglakabad metro station. First they all decided to book ola but unfortunately none of them had internet connection on their phones so they went to the nearby auto stand and thought of booking two autos.

As they boarded one by one all nine people managed to fit within the auto where six people sat at the back with two at the front and one hanging at the edge.

As he recalled it was a bumpy ride where everyone tried to balance the auto as to not fall. The driver rode through a small street to reach the destination. When my brother recalled the feeling he said " Kai mar Na jaye?"  It translates to " Hope I don't die?" He said by laughing but the situation seemed very crucial. As they reached the destination they finally breathed a sigh of relief.

As they returned back they did not try this same adventure again and came back comfortably in two different autos.

This experience was very dangerous and risky but when he narrated it sounded fun with the way it was said. The risks were very high but it was great to see all of them safe.

Custard fruit salad

 

Idle days are not very interesting but to pass time it's fun to make few snacks. So today as I was reading I suddenly remembered the day I went to the departmental store with my mother. My eyes sparkled as I saw the custard powder and I remembered how I enjoyed the fruit salad.

So I decided to make fruit salad as it would not only provide sweetness but it is a very good snack during summers.

First, I checked for milk and found that only one glass of milk was left so I buttered up my brother to get a packet of milk. After milk arrived, I took a bowl of milk and added four teaspoons of custard powder and stirred till no lumps were left.

Next I took a pan and poured the remaining milk and boiled it before adding five table spoons of sugar. Then I poured the custard mix and continued to stir the mixture. I was worried initially because it did not look as I expected but as I stirred the mixture got thicker and emitted a appetizing flavour. 

To top it all I added some dry fruits like badam, cashew and pista. Now it's time for fruits and I added banana, apple and grapes for the different flavour of fruits.

After making the sweet I asked my brother to have a taste and him not having a sweet teeth  refused but later I saw him enjoying the custard fruit salad silently. It was a delicious snack that brought back the same taste as I remember.

Prayer for a lass

 I met a lass on the street,

All alone wandering around,

Trying to sell flowers,

From one to another.

All alone lost,

Isolated by the world,

Lost in her own world,

With lonely gloomy eyes.

Alienated by love,

An unknown feeling with no meaning,

The only familiar wish,

To go a day without hunger.

No one to look for her,

No one fof her to lean upon,

Passing each day with grateful smile,

Without any grudge or anger.

Not just her,

But many more like her,

Let one more day pass by,

With them being safely secured.

Because I could not stop for death

 

As the title suggests this poem talks about death as a person. Anne Sexton in her poem " Wanting to die" mentions death as a friend. As we read the poem we find Death being referred to as a gentleman who comes in a carriage moving towards eternity. The themes that i found interesting majorly revolves around death. When death arrive it brings pain and fear. The poet here welcomes death with delight. Death is not an end but a part of life's journey. 

Its intersting to see that we die the same way we are born just like a cycle. We are born as a child and when we reach old age we again turn as a child nearing death. 

We also see an imagery of setting sun which symbolizes the passing of time. As the sun sets one more day is over. The acceptance shown by the poet portrays the experience and understanding towards the destiny. 

Purpose of life is what we all look forward to and the poet also understands life having its meaning. Every life whether short or long has a duty assigned and once the duty is completed, its time to leave.

The poet also indicates about the life after. We all are curious to know what happens to life after death and there are a lot of theories but it will always remain a mystery. 

This poem is interesting as it touches upon the imaginative idea that we all are curious about. Emily personified death to make it more approachable and part of every individual.

Monday funday

 

Mondays, are a working day after a long weekend. I still remember during school days how I would be very lazy wanting an extra day off.  The two days of relax seem very less a longer resting period is needed. I remember wishing Mondays being replaced by Sundays but practically it's impossible. 

Now if I am asked all days are holidays. When everyone is working and running around in this busy world I stay home just following my hobbies.

Sometimes I wished to go back to the routine but then when there is a routine we all wish to break off. I feel that we humans want a busy life but then a break is needed. The break feels like haven stopping from going back to the busy life. 

Everyday cannot be lazy if there is something to do but the eyes on us gives this inferior feeling. I feel like an alien when asked about future plans. It seems everyone is rushing without a break but I would like to pause, breathe and then restart. 

I feel the usual complaints have come to a stop as there is never a resting day, it's just a day to pause so that the next day is a restart to a new week. Hope it's a Monday funday.

Humble heart leads to growth

 

As I read a passage a short parable attracted me to go throught the story multiple times.

The venue of the story is at a wedding banquet. During weddings, lot of guests are invited some are important and specially invited to conduct the ceremony.

 While we go to the wedding if we go to the front and sit in the spaces assigned for the special guests and later someone more important than us arrives the host politely ask us to vacate the space causing an embarrassing moment, whereas if we sit at the back initially itself and the host invites us to the front it's a great honour.

My understanding of this parable is very simple. No matter how succesful we are or the achievements are great we should remain humble. 

We often come across people who always boast about their achievements, people often don't respect them, even though externally there would the respect but it's not gained but forced.

The humble ones grow higher and higher without any pride. They not only grow in their career but their personality marks the identity.

Fire and Ice

 

Fire and ice are contrasting elements can be beneficial if used accordingly as well as also cause destruction. I have heard news were people die due to extreme heat or extreme cold, but it's uses different based on necessity. Fire is beneficial to warm oneself during winters and chill air(air conditioners)provides relief  during summers. Can heater utilised during summer or air conditioner utilised during winters? 

Frost in his poem "Fire and ice" talks about two different emotions at its extremes. Fire symbolises desire, passion and love whereas ice symbolises hatred. It's interesting to look at these emotions seperately.

When the topic of love arises it appears to be complicated as there is never an agape but some compromises and sacrifices involved. We say we should first love ourself but if only concentrated on self won't it be selfish and slowly change the person into narcissist but if a person does not have self love then they won't understand their value and appreciate themselves for the achievements they received through hardwork.

Now if we look at romantic love too much love may lead to obsession or possessiveness which harms the relationship as there won't be space to breathe. Too much love for parents would also cause trouble if not shared equal love and respect to the wife after marriage. So what is love? We need to search and understand the meaning by ourself.

Now if we talk about hatred, there are lot of reasons. I believe hate is a very strong feeling that is very rarely felt. We might dislike someone but it may not be hate. Hate in simple terms simple means lack of love.

Emotions are complex to understand even if its about the emotions I currently feel. Maybe that might be the reason we listen to music when sad, talk a lot when frustrated, jump around when excited and so on. Even though emotions are complex, it makes one human.

The Badarpur Market

Today as I went to the market commonly known as Badarpur market the shift in air instantly hit me. The buzzing street was full of people of different ages. The place was crowded as well as not crowded but almost every store had a bunch of people gathered around.

The ladies were bargaining the vegetable prices with the vendors and it was a sight to see how women won the bargaining match effortlessly. I believe it is a talent to be able the reduce half the price for the commodity.

Even though the places were packed with people the cars and rickshaws would dive effortlessly past the crowd like an empty road. 

The quality of air was so bad that I felt suffocated but when I asked my brother who was walking beside me he said that he had " gotten used to the air" which might be my words in a few months. I could smell the smoke and it just was so difficult to breathe but still people walk around as if they are all fine. 

I understand that its us who brought this but isn't it high time people all try to prevent this problem. I remember a documentry that I watched recently that said the story of the people who together worked to prevent the cause of ozone layer depletion which was successful as the ozone layer is still healing. 

It was a story were everybody together helped for a cause and in Delhi also the odd-even system was beneficial to reduce the pollution. The lockdown actually cleaned the air and I was able to see stars but now the sky remains cloudy the entire time. Hope it doesn't get more worse than it is and we all again work together before nature takes action. 

Salt

 

As I was reading a phrase kept me thinking. "‭Salt is good; but if the salt has lost its flavour, how shall it be seasoned?" This is a very simple phrase that has a literal understanding.

Salt is as valuable as a treasure as it remains an unavoidable ingredient. It is a natural ingredient found in the kitchen of every household and is needed to be part of every dish. It's a small item, not expensive but is not to be ignored. Salt if kept for too long will lose its value as it won't be useful after a certain period.

I would like to connect this to the talents every individual possesses. We often do not use our talents just like the short story where a father divides his wealth among three sons. Two of the three sons did business and multiplied their wealth whereas one son hid his wealth without using it so it became useless in the end.

Similarly, we need to use our talents rather than hiding them or pushing them later. As the "later" doesn't come the opportunities are pushed away. 

This phrase is also a reference to the faith which has diminished over the years. We all go to worship places but do we understand what we are doing or are just following the tradition or what our parents taught us? This thought needs to be implied to understand the depth of our faith and to remain strong in our faith. 

Humanity or not: a guiding light

 Today I happened to read an article about two students who decided to set their future goals to be police officers. Those two girls faced a trauma that was made public but the support they received from their family members was the bare minimum.

Both the girls are rape survivors and the culprits are their close family members. When brought to light the girls are blamed for bringing out such an incident that shames their 'family'. One girl even gave birth to a baby a few days before her exams, her strength and willpower needs to be appreciated. 

These were the hindrances they faced but the help they received from the police officers led them to choose their final destination.

There are a lot of such stories that we hear, some give up and some stay strong. There are a lot of stories that are not said out for the fear of being pointed at, but whose fault is it for the lack of courage? Have we given space for the voice to arise? 

Why is there a blame game especially by the relatives and close people? We see a lot of faces all friendly but if there is a problem how many faces would be present with a helping hand? All will be there to say "We said so...". Out of a hundred maybe just a handful would be there which seems very ironic. 

This is just the raw situation we see every day. People change when there is no benefit, they would be so close with all smiles but it won't take long to turn their back against. 

Just because of a few, we shouldn't assume that humanity is lost. There is always someone somewhere who will be there in the phase of life as an inspiration. We should not cling to them but rather let time lead the way.

( The article)

Conner space

 A corner space

Connected on four sides

A safe haven 

That small joint.

Reading and listening

Sleeping and eating

And the repetition

Goes on and on. 

Places changed 

Routines changed

Habits changed 

But I remain the same.

Monotonous monotonous

Too much of repetition 

Need to change the conner space

To a wider arena.

The dead poet

Poems are always accepted and I have heard many claim that it is very difficult to compose poetry. Some of us love poetry because of its unlocking power. As Wordsworth said "the spontaneous flow of powerful feelings" is applicable when it comes to poetry.

When we look into the history of poets and their works we largely focus on the Romantic poets like Wordsworth and Keats. Yes, I too agree that they are amazing poets due to the majority of their works still being appreciated today.

Poets die physically but they continue to live in their works. If not for their works I don't think any of us will remember them as we even fail to remember the names of our closest ancestors. 

This poem is written in the form of a dream. As we dream we meet a lot of unique people. Sometimes the faces we meet may never appear again but it's just the pigment of imagination that we form from our memory. The poet similarly has a dream of meeting a poet but that dream turns to reality when he wakes up and realises he is dead.

Death is just a form as when he was alive he spent his time writing words that will remain alive for a very long time.

A delicious snack

 

Sunday is a day of rest when everyone will be at home resting and relaxing. A day when everyone sits face to face and have long conversations having the same repetitive topic without a change. 

After a grand lunch, everyone departed for a nap and that's when I had a craving to eat something sweet. And I had to think for a long and decided to make a snack out of a banana. In Kerala, it is named as pazampuri. The snack is usually made using maida giving a different taste but I wanted to make the snack using chickpea flour commonly known as besan flour here in the North.

During my first trial, my mom was there with the ingredients and the making process. It was fun at the same time the heat was too much to bear. It didn't matter as the results were amazing.

The ingredients included besan flour, corn flour, salt, sugar, water, oil and banana.

Firstly, we need to blend besan flour, corn flour (for crispy coating), a pinch of salt and a teaspoon of sugar. These ingredients need to be blended using water as required till all the lumps are dissolved. After the batter is prepared it needs to be kept for 15 - 20 minutes before cooking.

Secondly, the banana is peeled and sliced as needed. Then these sliced banana is added to the batter and spread evenly.

     ( The banana used)

Finally, the banana with the batter as a coating is fried deeply in oil till it turns brownish before it's ready to be served. The snack was delicious and was enjoyed with a cup of tea.

( The snack getting deep fried in oil)

The joy of home

Today as I reached the station it felt so close to home.  As soon as I stepped out of the train I could sense a shift in the quality of air that smells smoke everywhere. For a person living here, it's not a change but Chennai feels a lot more purified air compared to Delhi.

It was early morning when even the sun wasn't up but the streets were lit by lights all around. The auto drivers were awake early when most of us would still be snoring in our beds.

As I reached Delhi it felt long as I never had the opportunity to converse in Hindi, while having a conversation with the auto driver we saw the other side of comfort. That person had a wife and eight children who were still studying and young. He works without break to feed nine mouths but still, it's a struggle.

As I reached home after carrying those heavy bags and climbing the second floor, stepping the threshold of home was finally a relief. The tasty food prepared by Mom is much more valuable and expensive than any food that could be bought from shops. A feeling most hostellers feel when they return home.

(The still awake Delhi)

The second day in the train

 

A train journey to the North is too far and takes a lot of time and energy. It was once fun as a kid too as I used to ride the train from Delhi to Kerala. It wasn't often but still, it was an enjoyable journey, now if I am asked I feel it's a long way ahead to finally reach.

This journey was very friendly even though initially we met a rude person who was very harsh when he spoke. Later it got better with other people who were very friendly to get along with. We had two ladies who were going on the trip to Agra. They were lovely and energetic and were excited to visit places. This happens to be their second trip to the North and they were looking forward to it.

The chillness in the train reminds me of the cool winters without any woollen sweaters. To feel a bit of warmth it feels good to stand near the doors. Hot coffees and soups along with hot scolding water warm the hands and feet up. People from various places all gathered in one small train getting along despite the differences.

As I am reaching closer to my destination the excitement of leaving the vehicle feels wonderful. As the train moves forward and forward it's like a lullaby calming a child to sleep. Even though I have no idea when would be the next train journey, this trip is different as it is a way towards home.

Luggage and travel

 

What could be the worst part of a trip? I personally do not like packing and carrying luggage. It's always a heavy task to carry around the heavy bags rushing from place to place. Years back I came with two bags altogether but now I return back why did the number of luggage increase? Did I buy extra things, if so why?

I was stubborn to carry everything alone, yeah just naive of me to believe I could handle it well but then I painstakingly realised it was even difficult with three people. I desperately struggled to just share a few bags but my companions were too strong to effortlessly carry I guess. Thanks to them it was manageable.

Sometimes I wished I didn't have so many things to carry around but when I looked at my other friends I realised I had the least number of luggage and more complaints.

The best part is boarding the train finally after the long wait. Keeping all the luggage under the beds and sitting comfortably after a long drag of bags. Oof too tiring but I think it's needed to be done to go home.

Even though the carriages are tough I hope to have a smooth journey on the train.

Wish

 "Wishes are part of your heart. The very best part"

This very quotes made me rethink the meaning of wish that we often casually just make. From our childhood till old-age every person wishes changes as they grow but no 'wish' is insignificant as it shapes the thoughts of the person. When I was a child I wished to be a teacher so I used to make my brother sit with a notebook and mimic my teacher. As I grew my wish changed to be a writer which continued to reshape me. When I look back I realised these wishes weren't left empty but was part of me at  times.

Today I watched a Disney movie titled "Wish" which is a blend of a musical view along with a road taking us to the fairy tales that we often enjoy. As I watched the movie I realised how humans start believing themselves as God when they have power. The manipulation of minds help the powerful to control a large group. The king here controls the entire kingdom by claiming to fulfill their wish but those wishes would only be fulfilled if it benefits his kingdom. When people start thinking and questioning he feels threatend therefore befalling danger to the entire kingdom.

This musical drama gave very similar vibes as the fairy tales we are very familiar with. We see a glimpse of "Snow white" when the man takes too much pride upon himself and asks the iconic question to the mirror which we are very familiar with as the same question was asked by the witch in the movie " Snow white and the seven dwarfs".

Every person has a wish and the wish defines a part of them. Some wishes are impossible to be fulfilled, but its their personal entity, that are fulfilled in their dreams. We say an imagination doesn't have an end even though it's an illusion we create but that part of us is happiness that we carry within.